Therapy for Codependents

“People-pleasing” and trouble saying “no”…

These are the hallmarks of codependents.

If this is you, you probably have no sense of your needs because you spend all your energy trying to make someone else happy.

At the root of this is your belief that YOUR happiness depends on THEIR happiness.

As you know, this is a tall order.

You might see it as just “taking care of” your partner, parent, child, or employer.

But it’s not that simple. Often, these people have narcissistic traits, struggle with substances, or have a chronic illness.

The burdens can be immense as you struggle to hold it together in these “one-sided” relationships.

How you got here is… complicated.

You likely struggle to connect to your needs and emotions because of a childhood marked by fear of abuse, rejection, or abandonment.

Growing up, you watched your mother cater to your father, who was an angry alcoholic. He was often verbally abusive to you. He kept returning to the family but eventually left the family for good.

Now, as a married woman, you allow your husband to demean and cheat on you repeatedly. You keep taking him back because you want to keep the family together, even though it kills you inside.

The constant search for validation leaves you emotionally exhausted and hurt.

Let’s heal what’s keeping you in this damaging cycle.

We can heal the childhood trauma that’s led you into these codependent patterns, transforming you into an empowered, independent, and emotionally grounded person.

Meeting your emotional needs during therapy…

We’ll talk about your relationships with your caregivers growing up and ensure you get your emotional needs met with attachment-based therapy.

People with codependent behaviors often didn’t meet important developmental needs when they were growing up because they had to focus on someone else’s needs. They repeatedly did certain behaviors to feel good or safe, by taking care of their parent or doing exactly what they were told to do even if it hurt them emotionally.

Through those experiences, they developed beliefs such as “I’m not important” or “I’m a bad girl,” which became a wound. That wounding recording got “stuck” in their heads and continues playing out in their adult relationships. We will work to “turn off” your wounding recordings during our therapy.

We will strengthen your emotional needs before discussing or reprocessing a painful memory. For example, we’ll strengthen that wounded part of you that feels “I’m not worthy.”

I’ll guide you through setting up specific resources. You’ll connect with them during reprocessing (your resources can be real people who love you unconditionally or other strengthening experiences) that make you feel like “you are worthy” to get exactly what you need.

We’ll make sure you feel that “you are worthy” in your body when you are connected to your resources, and we will reinforce the feelings with tapping or eye movements so that they are available to you during therapy. We’ll have several resources available to get your needs met unconditionally.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

In EMDR therapy, we will identify current and childhood memories and your negative beliefs connected to them. Beliefs such as “I don’t matter.” “I’m not worthy.”

These beliefs and ways of being in relationships are at the core of what is pushing your codependent behavior. As we do sets of bilateral eye movements or tapping to reprocess your painful memories, we’ll check in after each. I will use specific interventions to help you understand what happened so that you can believe “I am worthy” and “I matter.”

You probably have been functioning in this state of being for a while, but you’ll feel better immediately as we identify and resolve a few of the worst memories. You’ll use the resources we established that bring you unconditional love and security so that you can connect with them and get your needs met during reprocessing painful memories.

After reprocessing, the emotional impact of those memories will subside, and the desire to continue those codependent behaviors will reduce significantly.

Let’s start healing those wounding memories and beliefs immediately…

So you can choose new, positive, healthy ways of being in your relationships!

I am eager to empower you with new responses and tools so that you can move forward in the fulfilling life you deserve. It is never too late to get your needs met! 

It’s time to consider YOUR feelings, goals, and happiness!

All you must do is reach out. Call today and let’s schedule your free consultation: (818) 259-7650.